WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ?
The UK government defines domestic violence as ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, emotional, physical, sexual or financial) between adults who are or who have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality’. This intentional behaviour is designed to take and keep control over a partner in a relationship that is founded on power rather than equality. This means that things will be done the abuser’s way and there will generally be consequences for the victim if they do not comply.
This power and control is established and maintained by using different tactics and behaviour patterns.
Click here to see the power and control wheel.
The wheel is divided into types of behaviours that abusers will use to gain control. Examples of the types of behaviours appear in each segment.
Domestic violence is a term frequently used, but it can reflect a narrower view of what can be a complex range of behaviours. The term abuse includes physical, sexual, financial and emotional abuse. Emotional abuse underlies the other forms of abuse and can be difficult to recognise. People who have experienced emotional abuse say that it can be just as damaging.
What is domestic abuse?
Physical abuse is easier to identify than some of the other types of abuse.
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It includes kicking, slapping, punching, pushing, spitting, restraining, or using a weapon.
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It includes any form of physical intimidation as well as physical harm.
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It can escalate over time, and is not usually present at the beginning of the relationship.
Emotional/ psychological abuse:
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This can be hard to recognise, especially when it has happened gradually.
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It can include put downs, belittling, name calling, undermining, and emotional manipulation which can make the victim feel that it is all her fault.
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The abuser can isolate the victim by putting down friends and family or preventing her from seeing them. He can do so by monitoring telephone calls or mileage
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The abuser can use threats of punishment to children, animals, or even belongings to get what he wants.
Financial abuse:
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Keeping control of all the finances,
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Preventing her from working,
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Refusing to acknowledge that house keeping and bringing up children deserve any financial recognition
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Taking her money away from her
Sexual Abuse:
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Forcing any sexual attention that is unwanted
Victims of domestic violence
Around 85% if the victims of domestic violence are women. However, we do acknowledge that men can be victims of domestic violence, and there is support available from Victim Support on 440496.
Consequences
The consequences of domestic violence can be life threatening.
Health Consequences of Violence Against Women
Non-Fatal Outcomes
Physical health outcomes:
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Injury (from lacerations to fractures and internal organs injury)
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Unwanted pregnancy
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Gynecological problems
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S. T. Ds. including HIV/AIDS
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Miscarriage
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Pelvic inflammatory disease
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Chronic pelvic pain
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Headaches
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Permanent disabilities
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Asthma
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Irritable bowel syndrome
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Self-injurious behaviours (smoking, unprotected sex)
Mental health outcomes:
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Depression
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Fear
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Anxiety
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Low self-esteem
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Sexual dysfunction
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Eating problems
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Obsessive-compulsive disorder
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Post traumatic stress disorder
Fatal Outcomes
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Suicide
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Homicide
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Maternal mortality
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HIV/AIDS
(Source: “Violence against Women”, WHO Consultation, 1996)
Causes of domestic violence
Attitudes and beliefs that underlie domestic violence tend to have their roots in gender inequality, rigid expectations of the roles within the relationship and are exacerbated by a lack of empathy. For more info please visit www.womensaid.co.uk.
Children and Domestic Violence:
Children are also the often unseen victims of domestic violence – in 40 to 66% of domestic abuse cases; the same man is directly abusing the children. (Edelson, 1999, in www.gldvp.org ) About two thirds of the refuge population are children.
Domestic violence can start or escalate during pregnancy and this can affect the unborn baby, sometimes resulting in miscarriage.
Children are affected by domestic violence. Children are more aware of domestic violence than most parents realize. In 90% of situations where domestic violence occurs, children are either in the room or the next room. Mothering through domestic violence can be difficult as your partner might target and undermine your authority as a mother as part of the abuse. An abuser will commonly use the threat of having the authorities take the children away. This can be just another method of controlling the victim to prevent her from leaving.
Children are part of the family and will usually worry about your safety, and often worry that they are to blame. They need reassurance and support, and some age appropriate understanding of what is happening.
However, it can be very difficult to talk to your children about what is going on at home, as it can be for them to talk to you about it, and perhaps you can encourage them to talk to someone else they feel comfortable with. An extended family member, a school counsellor or a youth worker could be suggested.
The NSPCC UK site address is www.nspcc.org.so.uk . NSPCC Pathways is the local branch and their contact number is 738143 or there is a 24 hour help line 08088005000 for advice and referrals. More information on the effects on children can be found at www.womensaid.co.uk.
Teenagers
A survey conducted by Sugar magazine in conjunction with the NSPCC. discovered that 16% of teenage girls have been hit by a boyfriend and that 33% experience some sort of domestic violence or abuse at home.
For this reason, as part of a prevention programme, the Refuge Outreach Department has recently begun educating teenagers on healthy and unhealthy relationships. With the aim of reaching all secondary schools on the island through the Education Department, this initiative should influence attitudes and beliefs amongst teenagers who are, after all, our future!