MANAGING STRESS

Most of us experience stress in one form or another at some point in our lives. It can manifest itself in many ways both physically & emotionally. For instance, sweaty palms, stomach in knots, sleeplessness, poor appetite, feelings of inadequacy, uneasy about the future, feeling boxed in and unable to move in any direction. These are some most common effects of STRESS.

While a certain amount of stress is known to be good for you, too much can produce tension, anxiety and depression – not to mention a whole series of physical ailments – especially those known as “psychosomatic”. When stresses are allowed to mount up unchecked emotional crisis or serious illness can result.

It is possible to deal effectively with daily stress and avoid many of its ill effects. We call it “COPING”. Though most people are familiar with the word, very few of us are clear about its meaning. And even less clear about how it’s done. Knowing how to cope with stress does not come naturally to most of us. We have to learn it like any other skill.

It is not simple. It demands an investment in time and energy. But we get better our coping improves with practice and the end result is worthwhile because effective coping with stress makes a dramatic difference to our everyday experience the sum total of which we call quality of life.

Coping – Who needs it?

If the effects of stress are so troublesome, you might say it’s simpler to avoid stressful situations altogether. But how realistic is this? Let’s take a look at some facts about stress:

1. Stress is inevitable. It is with us at home, at work, in the streets, in our personal relationships. It appears each night on the T.V. news. It is in the stock market reports and the report cards children bring home from school.
2. Stress is a fact of life.
3. Stress is not all bad. Dr Hans Selye, world authority on stress, makes it very clear that stress ‘the very salt and spice of life’. Without any stress in our life we would simply vegetate.
4. Three basic kinds of stress operate in our life,
   • Stress which results from a sudden and serious event, such as a car accident or sudden death of a loved one.
   • The stress that comes with a particular stage of life, marriage, childbirth, the onset of middle age or retirement.
   • Stress that becomes an ingrained part of daily living- like an unhappy job situation – until we do something to change the pattern.
5. Stress becomes distress when too much happens too fast. When life deals out too much at one time, we lose our sense of perspective. We begin to spend our precious lifetime reacting to circumstances that have been thrust upon us.

The following checklist may help you improve your coping skills

• Accept responsibility. This is your life. No-one can cope for you, though others can and will help, initiative must come from you.
• Try to be objective. Step back and look at your life situation as it were someone else’s. What could this person change? What will he/she have to accept?
• Know your inner resources. Assess your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest – you need a clear picture of what you are working with.
• Don’t try to cope alone. Accept that everyone feels some pressure. Discuss your difficulties with family, friends and colleagues. Listen to them. Be ready to return the favour. Coping involves giving as well as getting.
• Take a positive approach. There is always an effective way to deal with each situation. Problems always have solutions – its part of the package. The solution may not be immediately apparent. It may not be easy.
• Be realistic. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Set attainable goals. Accept that there are many life situations you can only affect indirectly. Don’t expect always to be right.
• Don’t strain for absolute control. You waste time and effort. Sometimes the only possible way to cope will be to withdraw form the situation, relax and put it out of your mind for a while. That’s a fact try to accept it.
• Be flexible. If your first solution doesn’t work, try again. Look at mistakes as a good experience ‘next time’. The fact that you acted – took charge- is what counts.
• Take one step at a time. Several problems at once can overwhelm you. Decide on the first step necessary to deal with one problem. Do it! Work on the rest in easy stages. Write it down if it helps.
• Look out for danger signals. Trouble sleeping? Drinking more lately? Feeling depressed more often? Losing your temper at insignificant things? Getting sick more often? These are all danger signals. Slow down. Take a careful look at your life.
• Stay physically healthy. General good health increases your stress tolerance. Sensible eating and sleeping habits help. Alcohol and tobacco and drugs don’t. Get plenty of exercise – it lets off steam and sometimes that all by its self amounts to coping.
• Learn to relax. On occasion this may be your only alternative! Schedule regular recreation into your life. Plan to take restful vacations. There are so many ways of learning personal relaxation techniques.