INFO FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
Domestic Abuse usually happens between adults, which includes teenager's relationships, but children can be affected by hearing or seeing it, or even by being abused themselves. It happens when one person hurts or bullies another in the family or relationship, whether they live together or not. Women are the victim 85% of the time and 1 in 4 women will experience abuse in their lives. This means that there are a lot of children affected by domestic abuse. If someone in your family hurts another member of your family either physically or emotionally, remember that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. This page will tell you how to find more information and where to get help.
So what is domestic abuse?
It can be physical, such as punching, kicking, spitting at or slapping someone else. It can be emotional, such as calling someone names, putting them down all the time, constantly telling them that they are fat and ugly. These kinds of things will affect the person emotionally, making them feel bad about themselves. It can be sexual, such as forcing someone to do sexual things that they don’t want to do, or it can be financial, such as preventing someone from working, or taking their money from them.
All these things can be used to make the abuser more powerful than their partner, so that the abuser can make their partner do what they want them to do.
If you are unsure whether domestic abuse is happening in your family or to someone close to you, have a look at this quiz:
http://www.thehideout.org.uk/under10/isithappeningtome/default.aspa if you are under 10 years old.
http://www.thehideout.org.uk/over10/isithappeningtome/default.aspa if you are over 10 years old.
You have a right to feel safe in your home. Research has shown that ‘in relationships where there is domestic violence, children witness about three-quarters of the abusive incidents. About half of the children in such families have themselves been badly hit or beaten. Sexual and emotional abuse are also more likely to happen in these families’ (Royal College of Psychiatrists,2004, in http://www.gldvp.org.uk ) This means that as a child or young person living with this in your family, you may be having to deal with difficult, perhaps dangerous situations, and with strong and perhaps confused feelings. You might feel afraid to ask for help, as talking about what is happening at home can be really hard. It can also be scary when you are not sure what will happen to your family if you do tell someone. It helps, though, to talk to someone who has helped other people in a similar situation, such as the Refuge. You might feel more comfortable speaking to someone that you know and trust, such as your teacher, school counsellor, or a youth worker. You can also get in touch with counsellors through YES, which offers advice and help for young people in Jersey. Have a look at their Website: http://www.yes.je/.
Useful websites for more information:
www.gkdvp.org.uk
www.respectnotfear.co.uk
www.thehideout.org.uk
www.childline.org.uk
www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Children/children.htm
Call for help…